Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Debate Recap

I seriously wish I had just drunk myself into a stupor before the debate. Then maybe I wouldn't have had to fight so hard with myself to not get up and throw my television out the window. I was so infuriated by McCain's eye-rolling and condescension and scoffing and outright lies, that I wanted to scream. Also, does McCain think that constantly interrupting Obama and being a jerk is going to win him points? Really? If so, then that's not the America I want to live in.

MSNBC correspondent Rachel Maddow commented: "McCain grimacing and rolling his eyes and playing eyebrow-hockey is probably going to be a regret for him by the end of the night." She also declared that Obama won. I only hope she's right on both counts.

The debate basically boils down to this: Obama was respectful and collected and cool and McCain returned to his talking points and Joe the Plumber so many times that I thought I might hurl. Want a bit more detail. Here's a summary:

On taxes

MCCAIN: Cut taxes for everyone. Even though we have a huge national debt. No one, even the wealthy and large, rich companies, should have more taxes.

OBAMA: I, personally, would be willing to pay more taxes and huge corporations like Exxon Mobil should have to pay more taxes, too, but 95% of Americans would get tax cuts (like I've said four thousand times before).

MCCAIN: Joe the Plumber. Joe the Plumber. Joe the Plumber.

OBAMA: First of all...

MCCAIN: Joe the Plumber!

OBAMA: Oh, never mind. You're not listening anyway.

On balancing the budget

MCCAIN: I can balance the budget in four years. And now my secret can come out. I'm [drum roll] Iron Man! Oh, and ipso facto I'm not George Bush.

On negative campaigning

MCCAIN: Well, it's been a tough campaign and Obama said he would do more Town Hall style meetings with me and he didn't so we're justified in attacking him.

OBAMA: I'm going to take the high road here. "I think the American people are less interested in our hurt feelings during the course of the campaign than addressing the issues that matter to them so deeply."

MCCAIN: But you are hurting my feelings.

OBAMA: I don't think we should even be talking about this, but, okay, fine. People were yelling "terrorist" and "kill him" at your rallies and "your running mate" didn't stop them.

MCCAIN: "I'm proud of the people that come to our rallies."

OBAMA: Oy.

MCCAIN: Even though "I don't care about an old washed-up terrorist" like Ayers, what's your relationship with him?

OBAMA: Bill Ayers is a professor. He was a terrorist when I was 8 years old (and you were 33), and he's not involved in my campaign. Why is he important again?

On running mates serving as President

OBAMA: Joe Biden has an incredible amount of experience, his foreign policy credentials are outstanding, he's fought on behalf of the working class, and he supported the Violence Against Women Act.

MCCAIN: Sarah Palin is a good role-model. And she knows how to help children with autism (even though her baby actually has Down's Syndrome, but I can't be expected to remember minor details like that). Her husband's a tough guy, too, because that's important.

On foreign oil

OBAMA: I'm optimistic we can reduce our dependence on foreign oil in ten years, but we need to look into alternative energies: wind, solar, biodiesel and geothermal energy.

MCCAIN: Obama is so eloquent, which is clearly a bad thing. He talks so pretty, he clearly doesn't understand what he's saying.

On health care

MCCAIN: I want to give everyone $5000 because we have so much money lying around in Washington and because I'm sure that will cover everyone's health care costs.

OBAMA: I want everyone to have health insurance. Is that really so hard to understand?

On Roe v. Wade (best question of the night)

OBAMA: I support the decision made with Roe v. Wade, and I think that women are smart enough to make their own choices and it's really none of our business. In other words: "But what ultimately I believe is that women in consultation with their families, their doctors, their religious advisers, are in the best position to make this decision. And I think that the Constitution has a right to privacy in it that shouldn't be subject to state referendum, any more than our First Amendment rights are subject to state referendum, any more than many of the other rights that we have should be subject to popular vote." Also, we have to improve sex education and access to birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancies. And, while we're talking about the Supreme Court, I'll make a quick reference to the Lily Ledbetter case and say that I support equal pay for equal work.

MCCAIN: Obama supports the "health of the mother." That's such an extreme pro-abortion view and can be used to mean almost anything.

OBAMA: I'm going to make a very important distinction here between being pro-choice and being pro-abortion, which are not the same thing, even though you're probably not listening to me.

MCCAIN: Pro-abortion. He wants to kill your babies.

OBAMA: See what I mean.

On education

OBAMA: Children are our future. Everyone who wants to go to college should be able to go to college without being in debt. If we invest in our youth, we invest in all aspects of our country.

MCCAIN: I'll just quibble about vouchers and charter schools here to buy time.

Closing remarks

MCCAIN: My eyes hurt from rolling around in my head all night. Oh, and, er, I'm a veteran. Vote for me.

OBAMA: I haven't broken a sweat. I've got this.

(Needless to say, I'm paraphrasing, though statements in quotes are verbatim as per CNN's transcript.)

3 comments:

frau sally benz said...

Um this is hilarious. Laughing out loud after the debate is quite refreshing. A nice end to my night =)

Li'l Pony said...

This is great. Well done!

Britni said...

This is fantastic!